


Ideas

by janus_manus



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-10-04 03:37:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20464379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janus_manus/pseuds/janus_manus
Summary: Remus comforts Roman.





	Ideas

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings: Self harm, suicide ideation, (let me know if i need more)

The knife had just been sharpened. I ran my finger along the edge. The metal was shining like the surface of a pool.

Funny how pretty things can be so destructive.

Remus had gone back to his room to prepare for bed.

I was left alone.

I turned my hand over, and ran a finger down my vein.

Just one cut.

I laid the knife on my stomach and stared up to the ceiling. I tried not to think of what would happen if I left this world.

What would happen to Remus? Would our parents have to accept him? Would they blame him?

I didn’t want him to be alone, but I didn’t really want to stay, either.

I heard the clicking of the doorknob being turned.

I swear I’ve never moved faster in my life than when I threw the knife under my pillow. My heart was racing, but I sat up trying to look normal. I shoved my shaking hands under my thighs.

“Roman?” Remus’s voice was soft and light. He poked his head into my room. His shoulders hung low. He seemed to be in the middle of his nightly routine, with a stained white shirt put on backwards and his makeup only partially wiped off.

I pushed my shaking hands under my thighs.

He walked to me bed, and sat at the end.

“Hey.” I said, crawling backwards on the bed to give him space. He pulled up his legs in a cross.

“So, how are you? I barely talked to you today.”

I leaned up against the wall at the head of my bed. 

“I’m fine.” I said, hoping he wouldn’t notice the shakiness in my voice.

He shook his head, then leaned forward, he reached a hand behind my back, and pulled out the knife.

“Just to be clear, you weren’t planning on murdering anyone, right?” He raised an eyebrow sarcastically, a light smile on his face. Remus, capable of bringing light to the most disgusting, horrible things to happen to a human.

I forced a chuckle. “No, I was just admiring my sharpening ability.”

He smiled “I guess a fascination with knives is hereditary.” He looked along the edge. I could see his reflection in the blade. 

“Roman.” I looked up at him, he as well, turned up.

“Just, if you ever need me… let me know.” Remus may be silly sometimes, but he was my brother. I tried to remember, and let his words absorb in my brain.

I turned my face down. I was fighting back tears.

I hoped he didn’t notice.

“Do you want to… um, bring your blankets in here tonight. You know, we can share a room, like when we were kids.” I wanted to take that back.

I opened my mouth to do so, but then he smiled. “Yeah. That sounds nice.”

He patted my shoulder and slipped off the bed to finished getting ready for bed. He came back ten minutes later with a clean face and an armful of blankets.

I went to sleep that night smiling.


End file.
